Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
They have beer where we have blood.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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