Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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