Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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