Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize