That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
