she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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