Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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