You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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