Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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