Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
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