So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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