i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
