Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
