Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
