2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
