i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
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