you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
