sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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