Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
