she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
