At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
