A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
