i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
