Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
