Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm both gender and math confused
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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