Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
NoShamevember. You game?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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