I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Randomize
