wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
They have beer where we have blood.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize