I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
