If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
