I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
