So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
