I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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