Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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