i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize