I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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