Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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