Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
