Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize