Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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