Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize