the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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