you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
