All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize