There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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