time to smoke my breakfast
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize