just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
