buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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