hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
