so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You have to summon your inner elephant
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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