I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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