apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
