Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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