can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
