I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
