Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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