Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
false alarm, still single
Randomize
