He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
