I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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