i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
