i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
