How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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