It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
