she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
how drunk are you?
Several
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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