oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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