Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
