I cockslap morals
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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