Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
