Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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