I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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