you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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