FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize