three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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