so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
