somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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